ABC
Last week, Vegas. This week, Costa Rica. Looks like producers either really like this cast or want to keep them just this side of exhausted. But they haven’t succeeded in tiring out Michelle, who is amping her insanity up to “Bachelor” hall of fame levels.
When Chantal O. scored the first one-on-one jungle date, Michelle reasoned, “All I can do is be myself, be patient, and hope that she gets attacked by monkeys.” She got the next best thing: it rained throughout Brad’s date with Chantal O. “This is the craziest rain I’ve ever seen,” Michelle said gleefully — and we can only imagine the rain would have liked to say right back at you.
But we’ll get back to her. Chantal O.’s date, despite the storm, went well enough to redeem her after her snippy Vegas episode. The pair went zip lining, and because of the rain Chantal O. got to go back to Brad’s room and change into one of his white button-downs, “Risky Business” style (and if you think she changed out of that before the girls back at the house saw it, you are mistaken). Brad seemed to really fall for Chantal O. on this date. It’s always hard to tell from his blank face, but he seemed to be actually enjoying himself — something that’s happening less and less at this juncture.
Brad wasn’t as lucky on the group date. Brad, Jackie, Emily, Britt, Ashley, Michelle and Shawntel N. rappelled down a rocky cliffside. This presented a problem, because as you may recall, earlier in the season Michelle and Brad went rappelling on their one-on-one — and Michelle made Brad swear he would never rappell with another girl. That might seem like an easy promise to keep to a crazy woman — but Brad could not, and Michelle was furious. He assuaged her anger by personally rappelling with her — and this in turn upset Jackie, who wished Brad would have accompanied her (she’s this week’s “fear of heights” girl).
The post-rappelling hot springs party brought more trouble — Michelle threw Chantal O. under the bus, the rest of the girls were tense, and Brad decided not to issue a rose. “If he can’t make a decision, I’ll be forced to take matters into my own hands,” Michelle said. Thank God this isn’t live — if it was, we’d all have to wrestle with whether or not to call the cops right now.
Alli was giddy as could be to get a long-awaited one-on-one date. She and Brad went spelunking in a cave that was gorgeous once they got past all the bats. “Alli has all the qualities I want in a wife,” Brad said. That’s often the kiss of death for those good-on-paper girls, and sure enough, things took a dive at their dinner. They couldn’t seem to think of something to talk about — and to reiterate, they had just spent the day in an ancient cave. Brad, who’s getting more businesslike by the day, decided to let her down at dinner — and poor, cheerful Alli was sent out into the dark.
Guess who was about to appear in the dark? Michelle seemed to show up expressly to remind Brad to send her home immediately — she was creepy, she complained, and she talked incessantly about the other girls. Apparently, the visit broke Brad — he came to the cocktail party clearly pissed about all the grief he’s getting. He confronted Michelle, who finally seemed to lose her footing a little.
The girls confronted her, too, asking Michelle if she was the person Brad referenced as giving him a hard time. Michelle flat-out denied talking to him, but the girls finally wore her down. And Chantal O., the only girl in Costa Rica who already had a rose, went to tell Brad that she officially loved him.
Then it was elimination time — and this turned out to be the night we all gasp at the end. Brad sent Jackie home, giving Michelle the final rose. Can you feel America’s anger? Of course you can. And the best part is — the crazy ones always wreak their greatest havoc after they’ve beaten out a normal fan favorite. So stay tuned — and brace yourself.
